Reasons for Anxiety Disorders: Childhood

As I read the Workbook, I'm in the section about what causes anxiety disorders. I wrote about physical causes somewhere else. I'm reading the part about environment now.

Childhood Circumstances

The first reason that resonated with me was "Your parents are Overly Critical and set excessively high standards"
..."There is always some doubt about whether you are "good enough," or sufficiently worthy.
As an adult, you may be overly eager to please, "look good" and "be nice" at the expense of your true feelings and capacity for assertiveness. Having grown up always feeling insecure, you become very dependent on a safe person..."
"...becoming exceptionally perfectionist and self-critical (as well as critical of others)."

I don't really remember my parents being overly critical...although there are extreme memories like my mom holding down on the bed and squeezing my pimples. But I think that my parents or at least my mom never felt adequate, so I never felt good enough. She didn't feel good enough for her own mom. She was adopted and her was Grandma's favorite because she was the "real" daughter. Mom never felt good enough in our church or neighborhood. I'm sure that bled through.

The second on was "Emotional Insecurity and Dependence"
"Up to the age of four or five, children are utterly dependent on their parents, especially their mother. Any conditions that create insecurity during this time can lead to excessive dependence and clinging later on.
...experiences of....physical or sexual abuse can also produce the kind of basic insecurity (as well as emotional dependency  that forms a background for anxiety disorders...
A common denominator in the background of adult children of alcoholic, adult survivors of other forms of abuse, and most people who develop anxiety disorders is a deep-seated sense of insecurity...When children respond to insecurity with excessive dependency, the stage is set for over reliance on a safe person..."

The reason that I sought out help in the first place is that I was too clinging with Divya and was so insecure that she was going to leave me. But as I read this I had a memory today, of how when I was five years old, I didn't want to go to kindergarten. (Actually, I started kindergarten when I was four.) Mom used to have to ride the bus with me. Finally, she gave me this owl pin to wear that had her perfume in it. The little wings opened and it had cream perfume so that I could smell her and feel safe.

I know that I was sexually molested by my grandpa. He died when I was four.

Have I been looking for a safe person since I was four?