Panic Attack....hate my work place...hate having anxiety about everything

I have this feeling of foreboding
I wish that I could sleep
I wish that my heart wasn't racing
My head hurts so bad
God I hate my boss and the place where I work now. There is so much political bullshit
Angels I just need a job where I can go to work and not worry about my job security. No little snide comments from my boss that always leave me wondering if she is bitching about me or just gossiping.
Angels l need a job where Divya doesn't have to work unless she is bored
Angels please let my mind be at peace
Let my inner voice just be quiet
I don't want to rehash every fucking conversation
l am tired
l hale feeling guilty all of the time
l just want silence in my head
God help me can't I just be normal for a day on two
No worries
Just peace
God be with Divya and I

Interview....asking angels for help

Angels. Thank you for the opportunity to interview today. I don't know if it is something that I'd like or not. I ask for your guidance.
Please angels let there be a way to have additional income so that Divya doesn't have to work.
Angels please give me a sign that Raymond is still my guardian Angel.
Also you know that I am a tortured soul. Please show me a sign that you are working with me. And that I am on the right path.
In Jesus name I pray Amen God is good!

Living with psychos

I've learned that I have some very sick people throughout my life. And I've learned that some of them are psychopaths or sociopaths. I hear that the difference between them are pretty vague.
Anyway my godchild has some showing symptoms of this and yet even now she is with a ... @ the very least verbally... abusive young man
My boss is definitely some kind of psychopath. I think she had a mental break when she was four and her parents left her @ home alone when her mom went to give with to her sister. Imagine trying to figure out your self worth when your parent leave you alone for a couple of days and to top it off return with l another child that you have to share their love and attention with.
It turned her into a fucking ice queen. My grandpa molested me @ the same age. It caused me to have clinical depression
So l internalize everything and my boss has no feelings for anyone.
I read this blog written by a psychologist, Katherine Ramsland, that studies and writes about serial killers. She interviewed a guy who had also written books about the subject and he said something that I found interesting as someone who has to live and deal with people who display psychopothy but aren't serial killers

"It is not easy being a psychopath or, for that matter, even a self-aware marginal sociopath. Blame is always directed outward and the inward view is one of being someone who is put upon and persecuted and pressured."

http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/shadow-boxing/201307/remote-view-serial-killer

My Mind....taking too many drugs to shut my mind off at night

God I feel foggy today! I've been trying to get away from taking 2 Xanax every night before bed. I only have benedryl capsules so l can't break them in half. I've been taking 3 capsules so I am going to have to by some that I can break in half. Each capsules is 25 mg and when I take 3 capsules (75mg) I've woken up groggy two out of the three days. Of course on those days, I've gone to bed a lot later than normal (9:30 for me) and the one day that I got a good eight hours of sleep, I felt great.

Angel Letter....need new job and enough money for peace of mind

Angels please help and be close to me
I am tortured at work
Please help it to be a better more joyful place
please help me to be the best at my job
Let me be a superstar
Let it be peaceful and happy
Give me peace in my head
Show me the way to make enough money that Divya doesn't have to work and that I still have time to enjoy life with Divya.
l love You Lord!

Angel Letter Chamuel....need new job

Dearest Chamuel,
I beg of you to enter my life. I believe that you and Raymond can gather the needed energies to for what is needed.

Please help me to have a better relationship at work with some very difficult people. Help my relationship with my boss to be strong and healthy. First and foremost Let anything that is negative and a powerplay be sent back to JD and help me to get her the answers that we need. Help me to remember to document conversations via email. . Second, help to keep TM inside his own box and hold him accountable to just the specifics of what he needs. Please reflect back anything negative that he send out so that he learns to be civil and help me to understand what he really needs so that I don't blow off things that make his job hard. Third let me shine for the higher ups that have a chance to make changes in my world but are often too busy to care. Let me be a rock star to the Administrators. If there is a way for faculty to include me as a specialty or for other departments to need me.

Chamuel, please I beg of you, just like within my encounter just a few minutes ago. When JD said well I can ask that it comes over to this office full time and then MA can be the back up. So she threatens me that I have to say yes I'll do it for those temporary dates or she make me do it full time. Or that she lies when she says that she just lets TM roll off her back but then both MA and SW told me how she was upset with her encounter with TM on Monday. All I ask is that there be a way to reflect those aggressive or untruthful things back to her so that she learns to deal with me differently.

I really think that I need to move on now. Please help me to find a position that will let me declare my student loan debt as forgiven as soon as possible. Also, to have enough money that Divya will not have to work and that we'll be able to enjoy life. A position that is not stressful and is a joyful place to work. Please Chamuel direct my path and open doors.

Chamuel, please let there be a safe place at home and that our home and our relationship is safe and joyful.

Please  enter our lives Chamuel. I beg of you to let your energy and love flow into my life.

In Jesus name I pray.
Amen

Day by Day...just random thoughts

I wish that I had more time to use this amazing phone It is so easy to capture my thoughts I really enjoyed having some time to myself last night. I blew it all on vegging and watching TV
That's ok Sometimes it is nice to just turn the brain off and not worry about other people or work
Trying to learn to work with Chamuel. One of the things that I read said that he is better than St. Anthony @ finding things . I will continue to feel close to St. Anthony but the Couple of times that I've reached out to Chamuel to help find something have been amazing
I believe that tonight I'll try some prayer and reach out to him related to my life and career
I am very sad that I just purchased this refillable mug from Einstein's and now they are closed until August 19th Boo!

Chamuel

I also like the article below for two reasons. First, it describes the third "Ray" as being Chamuel. And I was told that Raymond was my guardian angel's name. Plus Rae is the middle name of my beloved. Also, as you read through the article it tells that this is the angel that teaches that "Love knows no limitations; it accepts people just as they are." This is a part of why I love Disney. "When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are...."

                            

From the third Ray of the pink Flame we see the manifestation of the activities, intents, and wisdom of the first two rays: the first Blue Ray and the second Yellow Ray. Here we see the qualities of creativity and adjustability. Through the pink Flame the needs are expressed, plans formulated, and material is selected. This is a Ray of Divine love, tolerance, adoration, and gentleness.

Pink Flame Invocations should be performed on Tuesday when this Flame is especially active, and when its manifestation reaches the highest intensity. The most prominent representative of the Pink Ray is Archangel Chamuel.

Archangel Chamuel is an Angel of adoration and glorification. He is able to increase and multiply all positive things, if you only ask Him to. Archangel Chamuel will show you the way of compassion, love and forgiveness. He amplifies the flame of love in your heart, by providing for Divine love and comfort.

If you want to get rid of all the negative emotions, call up Archangel Chamuel. He will teach you how to transmute such feelings into something positive. He will show you how to imagine an adequate positive emotion of extreme meaning and value, and then, how to find the golden midpoint between the two opposite emotions - this narrow edge one is advised to balance upon in order to be able walk the path of unconditional love. Archangel Chamuel will awaken in you high respect, so that you can devote your being to God. He will bestow you with positive emotions of love and adoration, and fill your heart with love and joy.

Love knows no limitations; it accepts all people just as they are. True love does not judge or moralize. True love is powerful, it overcomes insult, anger, and separation, it is stronger than the ego. With you inner eye see the pink light that surrounds you. Let love flow out of your heart to your loved ones, to the ones that you do not love, to people you do not know, to all the people on planet Earth, all animals, plants, crystals, to all Divine creation. By spreading your life you create a bridge upon which Angels can descend and bring hope and joy to the world. Your reward is going to be a blessed life, filled with love. The female counterpart of Archangel Chamuel is Charity.

The representatives from the world of crystals for the Pink Ray (Pink Flame) are green tourmaline, jade, rose quartz and fluorite. These crystals are connected to the anahata chakra.

Details of Archangel Chamuel

Archangel Chamuel’s name means “he who sees God” or “he who seeks God.” There are seven core archangels and Chamuel is one of them, he is a very powerful leader in the group of angels called the Powers. These are Angels that oversee the earth and protect it. So if you are concerned about things that are happening in the world today call on Chamuel for comfort and peace.

He also protects us in our own lives too. He loves to help us with our personal relationships like love relationships, careers, life purpose and friends. Chamuel will help us build strong and healthy relationships so they are long lasting and meaningful.

Archangel Chamuel is very sweet, loving and kind. He is just delightful. When he is around you will know it by the wonderful tingling in your body and the butterflies in your stomach. He wants to bring peacefulness into your life to take away the pain. Escorting us on our life journey and making it pleasant, meaningful and smooth gives him great pleasure so don’t be afraid to call on him anytime you need him. You can also call on Archangel Chamuel to help you find things you have lost and he will help you find it.

A Message from Archangel Chamuel just for you ……….

I love helping you fulfill your life’s dreams and help you on you life journey. It is my pleasure to guide you along your path in anyway I can. I will help you with your relationships with friends, family and life partners. If you are trying to find the right career or you life path I will help you find that too. I love to give you peace and joy in your life to keep your journey smooth and meaningful so call on me to help you find anything you need. I am here for you always, please call on me, I want to help you. I love you more than you will ever know.

Message from the Angels

OK, so I was looking for prayers to the angels last week and ways to work with them. I came across some prayers that I liked so I copied them into some previous posts.

A new angel name of Chamuel kept coming up related to jobs and life purpose; so I've been thinking a lot about him. I thought that I will have to start including him in my prayers so when I asked for my daily angel message and blessing related to my job search and my job here and being at the least able to have Divya not work and at the best have it where neither of us had to work, the message that I got was the card below:

Your Message from The Angels Archangel Chamuel - the Angel of Love, is with you now.